“At the end, I was blacking out on about a half can of beer…. I drank beer, about 8-10 beers, about 4 out of 7 nights. On Saturday, or any day I could get away with it, I drank beer all day…. I smoked pot for a while, when I was in high school and my first semester in college, but I became paranoid toward the end, so I quit… I never bought any; I only smoked it if it was around. Beer was worth paying for.”

“I thought with alcohol… I could predict and control that… whereas with one pill you might never come back… I didn’t like feeling out of control.... it came from that fear of insanity.”

“I tried to quit on my own, but it didn’t work. I lasted for two weeks. I was at my parents’ house… and I wanted to drink… I got the compulsion to drink… I always thought I had the power and could choose when and where to drink. This was the first time I experienced powerlessness. It was like my body got into the car without my permission and went to the packy... I cried all the way there… I had to have it. I brought it home – all I had money for was a six-pack – I put it in the refrigerator and tried not to drink it, but it won like it always won. I popped one at the refrigerator door, drank it; I popped another, and part of another one. Then, I poured the others down the drain. Then I had a vision... I saw my entire life going down this tube… I saw my parents go down there… I saw my parents, my husband, my children, and I saw me. I went to AA the next day and I have been going ever since.”